Geoffrey Rush's bling beckons you!

3/30/11 // 12:03 am

I've seen quite a few movies in the past few days. Some I liked, some I didn't like.

Unbreakable: Already knowing the twist ending of an M. Night movie kinda ruins it, huh?

The Incredibles: I hear you, John Ratzenberger!

Kick-Ass: It's superheroes but in a *gritty* *realistic* world, where the "superheroes" have to engage in actual violence! Not that the teenage nerd main superhero actually feels badly about shooting people. I get that they were killing evil guys for the greater good, but I dunno, I'd have thought the reaction would be less "YIPPEE!" and more shaking and vomiting and crying and stuff. Soooo. . .they're all just psychopaths then?

The Toxic Avenger: In Tromaville, evil guys are e-vil. Seriously, I was writing a list of all the bad things people did in that movie that needed punishing, but after it was revealed that the little old lady whom the Toxic Avenger KILLED BY DRY CLEANING HER was actually the leader of a white slavery ring. . .? I gave up. Ohhhhh, TROMA!

Mystery Men: Hank Azaria was great in this. William H. Macy, ditto. Geoffrey Rush as Casanova Frankenschtein, though--! Just !!!!!!! TO THE DISCO ROOM! *points*

Defendor: *weeps*

Hancock: Can we just ignore Will Smith and Charlize Theron and focus on Jason Bateman here? Because I would like that. I loved it when that guy's reaction to getting his arm chopped off at the elbow was "No you did not!" I admire that guy for keeping it together; I probably would've started screaming or something. Also, how is the fact that Will Smith defaced the moon supposed to help Jason Bateman's business venture in any way?

I’m a human being, Goddamn it! My life has value!

3/26/11 // 09:54 pm

Does it seem weird to anyone else that Network was nominated in the Best Science Fiction Film category (along with Solaris, The Man Who Fell to Earth and the winner, Logan's Run) at the 1977 Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films?


Just checking. I was going to do a post on how fucking brilliant that movie is, but then I was researching it on the IMDB and wow, hey, sci-fi!

Also, I saw Animal Kingdom a few days ago. Holy shit, guys! Holy shit! I want to go back in time to early February and bribe all the Academy members so that Jackie Weaver wins Best Supporting Actress. And James Frecheville as the main character was so good. I bought it because the Blockbuster near my apartment is closing (took 'em long enough, there was never anyone there), and I thought "Hey, I guess I'm in the mood for an Australian crime family movie. After all, it has Uncle Owen and Adam from Adventures of Priscilla Queen of the Desert. Might be good."

Everyone. See it. See it now. The acting, you guys, the acting!

And it's not a Christian Bale-type "I WILL ACT LIKE A CRAZY MO-FO!" thing, which is good, but it seems like every time a role gets a lot of praise it's something really high-energy and attention-grabbing and "Look, ma, I played attention in acting class!"-esque. Like Peter Finch in Network, actually (not that he wasn't great). I liked William Holden's acting better. Without his character, the movie just would've been a bunch of crazy people yelling. In keeping with the The Fighter analogy. . .William Holden is Marky Mark.

Hmmmm, OK. This post started as a quick "Network=sci-fi?" comment, moved on to Animal Kingdom and swooped back to Network by way of The Fighter, with cameo appearances from Logan's Run, Priscilla and the Star Wars prequels.

Hey, did you know there's something called "Guy Pearce's Ultimate Guide to Tigers"?

Video under the cut involves Network, Dee Snider, and one bad-ass looking high school reunion. CLICK IT.Collapse )

OK, now I'm done.

Liz Taylor shows 'em who's boss

3/25/11 // 10:11 am

From the article Elizabeth Taylor Late to her Own Funeral:
The Westboro Baptist Church had earlier threatened to picket the funeral, but appeared to be caught off guard by the speed of the service.


Also, I had a terrible day at work yesterday--don't want to go into details right now, but needless to say churros make everything better. Mmmmmmm churros.
Tags: ,

"Stealth splinter"--not a TMNT reference!

3/6/11 // 12:38 am

A customer I had today tried to return a DVD of Knight and Day that he bought back in December. I said we couldn't, because it's way outside our return policy window, and it's not something we even stock. He insisted that we do, and showed me a stack of. . .The Other Guys.


I get that they have similar covers but. . .geez. As he was stalking towards the door he was so busy raving about how he was going to do all his shopping on Amazon from now on, and that we were going to close just like the B&N at Lincoln Center closed, that he almost didn't hear me call out to him that he hadn't taken Knight and Day with him.

And I think I managed to convince a customer that I wrote a Masters Thesis on stealth splinters. Look, at around 15 minutes to close I am tired and want to go home, and I might start saying wacky shit about how a stealth splinter is caused by stealth wood, and soaking it in water might help but to remove it you really need stealth tweezers. IF YOU BELIEVE ME IT IS NO ONE'S FAULT BUT YOUR OWN.

. . .and there's my SECOND alarm

3/3/11 // 05:33 am

. . .Wait, did I just get up when my first alarm (of 4) went off? As in, got out of bed and didn't just roll over and fall back asleep? DO I FINALLY HAVE A LEGIT REASON TO USE THIS ICON?!

Damn, I wish Fandom March Madness got posted every night. I kinda feel awake right now! I'm only running on four and a half hours of sleep so I'll probably be hallucinating all day, though. I can work with that.

Also, I watched the first episode of Community and wasn't feeling it, but after seeing all these awesome gifs of Troy and Abed, I kinda want to try it again. Gifs are also the reason I started watching Supernatural (not that I've watched more than 6 episodes, but still).

My Oscar thoughts

2/28/11 // 03:59 am

James Franco looked bored and/or stoned. A lot of things were cut down--like how each in memoriam person got half a second, and all the movie clips were about half that long--and even though everything seemed crammed, the show still managed to go long (well, Oscars). Seemed like they weren't cutting off speeches as much early on (well, they tried with Sorkin. Didn't work)? Dunno, all in all it wasn't disastrous, but there wasn't really a stand-out moment, good or bad, and even though I do appreciate Tom Hooper's use of the term "triangle of manlove," I still wish David Fincher would've won. All in all: Blah.

Also, why all the attention paid to Oscar history during the 83rd Annual Oscars? Does the number 83 have some sort of mystical association among actors? I wonder what they'll pull out for the 100th Oscars in 2028 (other than an 8-hour telecast).

Oh, and this will burn your eyes, fair warningCollapse )

So, yeah. Oscars.

I hated her SO MUCH! FLAMES!. . . on the SIDE OF MY FACE!

2/25/11 // 01:14 am

A customer wanted to return something today, and Fellow Cashier D told her the cashier with the red hair (me) could do her return. The customer proceeded to look around and ask who the Return Person was. I was two registers down, saying "I can do your return here, ma'am" and waving my hand in the fucking air like a crazy person, and as she eventually moved over she was saying stuff like "She doesn't have red hair! You said she has red hair when she doesn't. There isn't someone with red hair here."

. . .Bitch. You calling me a non-redhead aside (and it's brownish-red, more brown that red, OK? I know that), WTF were you trying to prove there? Move the six damn feet to you right to the person who's fucking calling you so that she can refund your damn $7.00 and you can vacate the premesis before my freckles fly off my face and hit you.

Ugh, I started out today in such a good mood. Brought leftovers to work for lunch! Drank water instead of soda! Actually took the trash out on my way out the door like a responsible person! Listened to peppy '80s/'90s pop songs on the subway!

I don't even know what happened, but around the time I heard that Manager Mike finally told Cat Lady she couldn't come back to the store and she made a scene and I missed it, I knew it was official. THIS DAY SUCKS.

Cat Lady, BTW, is the customer who used to drag her cat around the store on a leash, and she is really absolutely psychotic, and this is literally what she looks like.Collapse )

Puns. Food puns. Oscar food puns.

2/23/11 // 09:23 pm

I'm going to a friend's apartment for Oscar night. I am trying to come up with Oscar-related food, but I've hit a wall and I need assistance. Most of these are awful, I'm just throwing them out there,and not all the puns are of my invention. I've had like half the first floor staff at B&N helping me with this.

James Franco-furters
Jesse Eisen-burgeres
Blue Valentines Day Cookies
True Grits (or, as suggested by roseeclipse, corn cakes. I don't think anyone would eat grits)
King's Peach Pi
Leonardo DiCapricorn on the Cobb
Annette Bening Jerry's Ice Cream
Christopher Nolinguine
Souffle-a Coppola
Mark Ruffles-os (I'm bringing chips anyways, a weak pun is better than NO pun)
Chips and Salt-sa

Not Punny
Black and white cookies for Black Swan. SYMBOLISM!
Massachusetts-based food (for The Social Network, The Town, The Fighter, probably more)
Tim Tams (Geoffrey Rush is Australian and I'm bringing Tim Tams anyway I don't care)

Irrelated Essentials
Endless popcorn


Gettin' organizized

2/23/11 // 08:41 pm

After around five years owning a Mac, I have figured out how to take a screenshot without opening Grab. And that means you get a picture of my .gif folder.

Yes, it's color-coded, what of it? I need to organize by fandom AND by which gifs include clapping, OK?!Collapse )

Ahh oh God, I just discovered that if I enter keywords in the comments of a file, the file is searchable by those keywords (yes, everyone else already knew this, I know, shut it). I CAN TAG MY GIFS NOW! Unless one can tag ones gifs in such a way that the tags will show up in the finder window, sort of like ones internet bookmarks. Let me know if this is possible, please and thank you?

Last post on The Eagle, I SWEAR

2/23/11 // 12:31 am

I forgot to mention that I timed how long it took for Channing Tatum to show up shirtless. So I used the handy stopwatch on my iPod--FOR SCIENCE. From opening credits to shirtlessness was 8 minutes, 47.2 seconds.

Just in case anyone was wondering.

I want there to be a chart that compares this statistic from all his movies. I couldn't make it myself because that would involve watching Dear John. Probably only the first 2.5 minutes of it, but still. . .can't risk it.

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